Face Lift

So my blog officially blows. There is no denying it. Instead of abandoning it once and for all I've decided that this little project of mine is to go under serious construction. Just like my blog will soon show, I have myself have undergone many changes over these past 2 years. I aim to make this site of mine an ambitious, creatively driven interpretation of myself, my dreams, and all and anything that interests me. I highly encourage you stay tuned for future updates and remodel. D.Tales will soon be Dripping in a new sassy layout, scintillating new material and hopefully some new followers!

until then!

D.

No Regrets Just Loff

Okay okay. I know. how longs it been this time? my calculations are yielding a little over two weeks. poo poo kahchu. soo i cant stay faithful to my blog. don't shoot me.

if you did, itd be murder.

Moving on, with all that has been goin on in my little hott mess of a life, lets just say ive been busy. Since my last update i've managed to remain alive and breathing into the spring months that should have been filled with sunshine in butterflies. Instead sir atmosphere decided to hit us hard with countless arctic chills, goosebumps, snow showers and even some freezing rain. Super cool. sike. Philadelphia never felt so drab. But lets not dwell on the absolute hell I've endured shall we? its not interesting and i find it annoying just typing out whiny sad girl things. That being said, with the cold bitter bitch weather came cuddle sessions, hott chocolate chunky sweaters and heaping bowls of buttery popcorn. my guilty pleasure of course. Not so bad!

March is now coming to an end and I can't say I'm going to miss it. Although its been eventful, im more than exuberant to roll into april, fully hoping it will shower me with love, good grades, alcohol and memorable encounters with my partners in crime. School has never been more of an S.O.B, but with the hours i've logged at Club tech, Its difficult to deny that i'm obtaining and storing a lifetime of knowledge upstairs in the noggin of mine. (Snaps for bein a Nerdosauras were never more appropriate!) boomshakahlaka.

Aside from my astounding performance as an intellectual enrolled in higher education, Ive finally made the leap and joined Twitter! Let me just tell you what a ball im having. Think kid in a candy store, with AdHd and finding the Golden Ticket. all at the same time. Not only overwhelming and intense, but totally stinkin awesome. As someone who early adapted to Formspring (not one of my finest moments) #epicfail, I was apprehensive to become a tweeb but it got to the point where i would follow sweet punky little Avril and say What the Hell?

Not only is it fascinating to instantly share my meaningless thoughts with millions of people, but Im finding that I actually have an affinity for Twitter. Ive only been on it for 3 days and have tweeted over 60 times, fully comprehending hashtagging, trending and following about 40 people i don't even know just to learn about what they think about topics i'm interested in. Its brilliant. Thanks to my Bestie L, her encouragement pushed me to the edge and got me addicted.

Addiction is usually a bad thing but im thinking twittah can be used as an outlet for my nonstop thought processes i have buzzin around in mah brain. The only bad thing is now that I have one, im going to need rehab to stop and like all other things online, captures my attention above all of my other obligations aka my education.

whoops.

Aka Its yet another distraction from everything else i have going on in my life. great decision....haha. #SorryimNotsorry. Additionally to my exciting new twitter identity, i've also gone thrifting in the city, gone to classes amidst the wintery snow globe of a forecast, cheered my last basketball game of the seassonnn, and journeyed up to the almighty State for their university wide holiday known as State Patties Day. whew! i know. lots to take in. and tons to deal with. but that being said, its been a hell of a curve ball of fun! with so much accomplished i'm gettin' my grove back ... chyea like the emperor, and hopefully beating my ongoing power struggle known as : D against The Blog. to post or not to post?!


I declared my self full force to the improvement of all that is D. so i think its time to commit furr realll this time. strap yourselves in my sweets, i've gotta whole bunch of new ish to share!


xxx (and some o's if yah luckayy)
D.Talesss

PS - dont forget to Follow me on Twitter!
@DarcyJoelle - #TweetMeBitch

4 months overdue.

So the semster has come to a close. once again i have abandoned the one thing i promised i wouldnt...my testiment in august, to love and cherish my sweet little pathetic blog was obviously a failure, so here i am..trying to recap on 3 months of utter shambles.

a truer definition couldnt be tagged on to this past semester of mine - shambles pretty much sums it up.

somewhere between moving into the big increasingly dangerous neighborHood that is north philadephia in august, to cramming the night before a couple of my last finals right now, i have grown and changed into a person that i can honestly say one year ago, i wouldn't really recognize.

i was talking to my fabulous ex (but still loffed) roomate D about our semester apart...the things that have changed, the things we did, mistakes we made, the laughs, the tears, the highs, the lows, you name it.

everyone says that sophomore year is one that youll never forget, and as the first half of my year comes winding down i cant say id argue... although, with the amount of alcohol ive consumed during this first half...some parts are hard to recollect..whoops.

im sorry im not sorry ...

moving on.

So its now March. I am 20 and living on my own. i am college student. ive changed my major. i cheer for a team that no longer has a head coach. i have a kitten. the leafs have fallen from the trees. snow has fallen. ive gotten sick. gotten sad. laughed so hard ive improved my abs. and made so many memories they deserve their own blog.

needless to say this semester has been a success. despite the fact that i've made far too many negative decisions, im still breathing. i wouldnt regret a thing. lets home I can turn this little blog of mine around before its worth nothing.

cheers my doves. I can ensure many new stories to chat about :)

IT'S DTALES BITCH ..think britney

Bollocks and Bananas! It so seems that this girls done it again. no not the nast. that would require a first time. and then another romp session to fully fulfill the "again" status. fml hahaha. ...after all that you must be dying with anticipation as to what i was actually referring haha, what other than abandoning my cyber identity once more?! this time for almost 3 whoppin' months!

it disgusts me.

Wowzahhhh. where to begin?! I'm starting to think this blog was just another one of my unfinished hobbies dans le temps. You know those ideas you conjure up, get attached to, and then lose interest over time? I fear that diagnosis for my weak and barely breathing blog. So in light of turning this mess around...here i am!

There's just so much to catch up on! The last couple posts sounded borderline suicidal for my usual dapper self, those close could have told ya haha. But that pathetic wallowing inner 7th grade girl desperate for love is long gone, so don't you worry! Im back, bronzed, and ever so single. but this time around i'm 20! thats right, i've graduated to the TwentyClub! and by that i mean the single most pathetic club made up of 20 year olds. Activities include pining for their first legal ingestion of alcohol and keeping a calendar comprised of little "x"s crossing off the days closer until said legal ingestion of alcohol, otherwise known as the infamous 21st birthday.

So that's exciting! as of July 8th i became a loud and proud member! only 320 something days until The Vegas. Thats right folks...i - A: am voyaging to the mystical and magical land filled with strippers and cocaine, otherwise referred to as The Vegas for my 21st birthday!!! ...but also am B: not so much of a dedicated 20club member seeing as i don't even know the exact number of days leading up to my very first blissful legal intoxication. whoopsies.

So i'm 20. Hootihooo. As my best friend L so sunnily informed me, I proudly averted the disaster of becoming another National Statistic. I, Dtales, beat Teenage Pregnancy! YAYYY. no babies for this girl. at least not yet. Other than that, i have yet to discover any other perks of being a single white 20 year old college girl. other than the fact that i now meet the description of just another Vic on CSI, NCIS, Law and Order, Criminal Minds and Unsolved Mysteries (i watch too much TV). ---although thats not really a perk. but it would be cool to be on TV. this is the part where i knock cyber wood, cross my fingers, and what ever else to will that not to happen in reality. but im just sayin'. i'ts true. im a sittin duck in a pond of sexual predators. if i was as a teenager, i sure as hell am now. good thing i pack heat like the badass i am.

and by heat i mean pepper spray.

--thats right. Watch out creep, this girls got skills when it comes to aimin for your eyes and making the boys S.I.N.G. (and by that acronym i'm referring to Miss Congeniality...Shout out to Sandra Bullock for the self defense lessons)

i've gone way off the beaten path. here i am rambling about how im 20 and watch too much TV, suffer from an over imaginative scenario forming brain, and making movie references that make me laugh outloud at how cheesy i am for thinking im funny for putting them in the post in the first place.

this is me segwaying into a much needed subject change.

So i've been radio silent for almost 3 months. lets restart with that.

the last time i so much as pressed the space bar on this thing, i was finishing up freshman year!

Boy has summer flown. here i am...1 day from moving into my brand spanking new bachelorette pad at school tomorrow, in great anticipation of jump starting a new season of cheerleading, and of my studies of course! its almost unfathomable how much my life has changed. since my last post i've fully immersed myself in my job with Red Bull North America. (which i took on in early march) Im an official Wiiings Team girl now. thats right folks. i'm one of those crazy girls zipping around town in our clown car... ya know..those mini coopers branded in our famous primary colors and embellished with the giant red bull can? yup thats my job.

its okay...

hahaha just kidding. that'd be the understatement of the century. This job has not only made me biased over any other energy drink, but its also made me crazy. in all honesty i can admit to being a little knocked off my rocker. not that i wasnt a little pre - Red Bull. but thats only minor details haha. but really ..its borderline disgusting. i guess thats what happens when you love your job. especially at my age. Not many kids can say they spent a week in New York working an internationally televised event, spent the nights at some of the cities top night spots, networked with countless inspiring people, and most importantly - gained access to unlimited red bull. talk about jackpot...well if you like red bull that is. haha Essentially i've fully fallen head over heals. for my job. i work full time, Am making up for the money i failed to earn the summer before, i've experienced freedom i've never had, and made friends that any girl would be lucky to have.

needless to say - I Am in a Relationship with Red Bull.

Im aware of the fact that i'm most likely coming off like some over energized lunatic, i know...you're probably saying this girl needs to lay off the Taurine, Glucuronolactone, Sucrose, Glucose, Simple B vitamins, Carbonated Water, and Sodium Citrate. okay maybe not. but if you did, you'd be partially correct, and would greatly impress me. -- think Ron complimenting Baxter on his consumption of a whole wheel of cheese. Anyway. i drink a lot of bull that is red..which explains the laundry list of ingredients i rattled off. but no harm done ... well minus the fact i was hospitalized with kidney stones two weeks back. red bull may have had something to do with it. but pish posh. totally fine haha no big deal. compared to where i was at the end of freshman year, i've made many strides in the right direction. maybe not according to my scale, but nothing morning workouts with newly married satan A, (who knew, satan found a soul mate hahaha jk) a few trips to the IBC and a brand new season of competitive cheerleading wont fix ;) All in All this girls a happy one. With summer coming to a close, i've made more money i have in this summer than i have in my whole life, met some amazing people, and spent quality time with the most important ones. oh and i've fallen totally and irrevocably (learned that word from Twilight) in love with Pretty Little Liars. i'd say summer 2010 was a damn good one.

And so brings me to the part in my post where i hope for even more sunshine in the Future. I've got high hopes for my sophomore year. and even higher ones for the ones that follow. All im missing is ....

well lets not go there ;) i'm fine all by myself. for now at least.

you know where to find me.

xoxo Dtales.

iDON'T.

I don't ever want to be cool.

I don't do sadness well. it doesn't suit me.

I don't laugh to fill uncomfortable gaps.

I don't give fake compliments.

I don't make promises without intending to follow through.

I don't usually ask people how they are just for the sake of it. I actually want to know.

I don't like tuna fish.

I don't use long complicated words just to sound smart...i just generally like to use them.

I don't eat bagels anymore.

I don't find those weird super long jokes that you have to think about funny.

I don't really fear death.

I don't own a car.

I don't like men who mind-f*ck me.

I don't ever want to become superficial.

I don't read the books they assign in nearly every single one of my classes.

I don't play poker. although i want to learn.

I don't live with regrets.

I don't use an eye lash curler.

I don't wear my colored contacts anymore. they made me feel fake.

I don't like rejection.

I don't try to pretend its not awkward when it usually is. i usually point it out and make it even more awkward.

I don't know what I want to be when i grow up.

I don't feel like i deserve some of the great things i have in my life.

I don't love being single.

but I don't mind it.

I don't want commit without love.

I don't like letting people down.

I don't deal with disappointment well.

I don't like kissing people unless i know them.

I don't pay attention to people as much as i should.

I don't like certain parts of my body.

I don't hate anything. just dislike.

I don't want my freshman year to end.

I don't want to give up on possibility.

I don't know the game of football as much as i desperately want to.

I don't like it when the sun doesn't shine.

I don't think twin beds should have ever been invented.

I don't want to not live to my potential.

I don't like it when people say i have high standards >> i just don't want to settle.

I don't regret not having a boyfriend in high school.

I don't like gossip.

I don't want to be alone.

I don't open up as much as i should.

I don't play an instrument unless you count the recorder in the 3rd grade. hott cross bun.

I don't dye my hair.

I don't have a budget for some of the things i buy ;)

I don't like heavy metal thrash slit my wrists screamo music.

I don't have an all time favorite color.

I don't say I love you unless i absolutely mean it.

I don't think i deserved my underage drinking citation. not on that night at least :) hahahha

I don't eat Ramen noodles with the spicys in it. just plain.

I don't like ham. no ma'am.

I don't wear perfume.

I don't remember many of my dreams when i wake up.

I don't respect those who don't give me respect.

I don't like liking someone who doesn't like me back.

I don't particularly enjoy being put on the spot. i get super awkward hahahah.

I don't create art that i'm totally and completely satisfied with.

I don't mind making mistakes.

I don't eat soup. unless its the asian soup at hibachi restaurants.

I don't think i could ever become anorexic. zero will power.

I don't sweat the small stuff.

I don't like short boys.

I don't forget.

I don't want to settle for anything less than butterflies.

and sadly

I don't have time to BLOGGGGGGG.

Patience is Virtue. F that i've been patient for 19 years.

Coming from a girl stuck in a state of what seems like eternal single-dom, I myself am fixated on making myself happy and having fun, and – in the midst of my fun – wouldn’t mind finding Prince Charming. You know, funny, passionate, driven, cute. The traditional wish list could go a mile long. I think i've waited long enough. I've watched almost every single one of my friends get picked up by a countless number of attractive men. everyone but me. It is now only 3 months short of my 20th birthday, and ive never been in a legitimate relationship....like what is that. Although i don't usually let on that this part about myself bothers me, im doing it now haha my apologies in advance. My first year in college is now coming to a close, and as of recently i thought maybe i found someone who maybe possibly could have been different from the rest. Good on paper never looked so good, let me tell you. but then again good on paper almost never makes a good reality and we all know it. fml. Lately, I have been noticing a recurring trend in the battlefield of love (aka campus/nightlife) and it has been happening to me a lot lately (insert sad face).

collectively my experiences when i go out goes a little like this: guy approaches me at a party, we make small talk, I calculate he is not my type. The next thing I know, he is trailing behind me the minute i try to make a quick get away. Around the party he follows, as if his goal in life is to creep my spandex off, or fall madly in love with me, its hard to decipher when theres alcohol involved. but ones things for sure..the wrong ones pick me. always.

And that’s the end of my short story… and my interactions with the opposite sex.

When I am eventually about to shake off the creeper and head home to bed(alone) while my girlfriends are off with their so-perfect-it-hurts boy toys or hott dancefloor make-out , I am left wondering:

Why? Why not me.

...........................................................

I can’t count how many times I have (mistakenly) given out my number to someone who quickly turned out to be oh-so-wrong. Picture texts of men posing with their shirts off, suggestive texts begging me to send them pictures of myself, guys with girlfriends – I’ve seen it all. And if it’s not a creep, it’s a nice guy. A too-nice guy who may be perfect for someone else, but not so right for me.

It is frustrating and leaves me wondering what I’m doing to attract the wrong dudes. Do I have a post-it on my head that says “I want to see your lack of arm muscles in a Picture Text message later?” God, I would like to think not.

Some people tell me that I’ll find my guy when I’m not looking. Others tell me I have to put myself out there. But no matter what I do, I still end up running away from some weirdo and coming home to an empty bed, or worse staring at my blank phone waiting for text that i know most likely wont come.

like WTF cupid. wheres my mr. right?

Thats why i thought that Good on Paper might be different. We would bump into each other on campus out of pure coincidence of similar schedules. it was harmless and i usually pretended not to see him. but it was almost impossible to try not to. eventually i gave him my number and from that point on we talked pretty much everyday for the past month. Good conversation. not just the usual texting la di dah bullshit. but actual conversation. We had so much in common it kind of freaked me out. But nobody's perfect...lets be serious. he would take forever to respond. Never actually asked me to hang out. It got to the point where i thought i was being used just out of his pure boredom. a filler of some void in his life. but then last week it happened. he Finallllyyyy asked me to come over. i was SO excited. I think i spent 2 hours getting ready, but not ready enough make it look like i was trying too hard. i bought his favorite ice cream. god like seriously i am such an idiot.

Rookie mistake - got my hopes up... to the highest possible degree.

...........................................................................................

As a girl who has never fully immersed myself in the dating game..i had no idea what i was doing, but i just felt like this was more than just a movie. it was possibility. there so much opportunity.

So the time rolls around where i haven't heard from him, so i shoot him a text. and dun dun dun. he makes up a bogus excuse about his roommate getting sick. and asks to reschedule.

not even 10 minutes later i get a message from his roommate - "for the record there was no food poisoning of any kind."

...Might possibly have been the biggest let down/most terrible feeling of my romantic life. I mean at least his roommate freaking looked out for me. i literally felt my heart sink. he lied. gave me zero heads up. i told people about it. so not only did i get stood up..but i had to deal with the "how'd it go?!?!" s the next day. kill me now. KILL ME NOW.

i guess there's a first for everything. and this just happened to be my first crush making me feel totally and absolutely inferior and embarrassed. am i not pretty enough..smart enough?..All of the insecurities washed in. i let my mind and my heart take over before anything substantial even happened. essentially i internally was a 7th grader for the entire month haha. and now a couple days later of this happening, i realized my mistakes. but it still doesn't take away from the fact that i'm sitting here feeling like shit over my no-no's..when he was the one that messed up and is most likely out partying on his night off. The worst of it is, i still like him. And if he proved to me that it was really just a misunderstanding, and manned up and asked me out again, i would most likely accept.

So as i sit here on my bathroom floor, when i should be writing my 7 page english paper, i cant help but think of what that night would have been like. is it such a crime that i wanted it to work out? or is that to much of a sappy girl thing. i guess thats a judgement only yourself can make. But in the end, i might want to forgive him, but i won't chase him. I've always been proud of my self confidence. My sense of self and independence. Im not looking for my other half. It makes it sound like im not whole already. By myself, i know im great. But with someone else, whoever he is, i know i could be fantasticc. ...Until then, i refuse to compromise my heart. my lust for romance. to be loved whole heartedly. And i will not let a boy lie to me. You can be as handsome as mark wahlberg in his tighty whities, but if i cant trust you, you're out of luck.

So yea. The wrong ones chose me now, sure. and ill most likely face this problem for some time down the road. But deep down, i know the right one will snatch my heart up. because i deserve it. and so will he. So saddle up white knights, because im yours for the taking, you've just gotta be willing to step up to the plate and make sure you hit it out of the park ;)

text not call foollll

T E X T M E !

It’s the proverbial mating call of the singles population meaning none other than Oh Hayyyy - i'm ready to mingle. In all honestly, i can't even say that I’ve ever used the whole “give me a call” line. like ever. it seems that its phrase of the past. So in light of its offical disposal, i think we all know its new replacement. Since cell phones came to dominate our lives, the go-to declaration upon giving out thy number is “Text Me” followed with a big bright smile .... and rightfully so. Let’s face it, even if youre weirdd (i mean decent enough to represent the 2% of chivalrous men that still exist on this god foresaken planet) and call me, im not going to answer. because really, who answers unknown numbers. not safe my friends..not safeee. so you call, but you better be enticing enough to get me to call you back. Happen to be enticing and funny? Fan-Freaking-Tastic. The next step is for me to get 10 minutes of peace and quite to make that call. If I have a cheer promotion tonight and a session with the treadmill at the gym after class, then you’re going to have to wait at least 24-48 hours to be validated by a return call. sometimes it even takes me a day to call my mom back after her weekly "Hi Darc! just wanted to tell ya im thinkin of ya, i love you!" .. seriously im a terrible person. who does that. but in reality i really am busyyy. I know what you’re thinking. If I really liked you then I would find a way to make that call asap, and you are right my friend. But unfortunately for you, asap may just be three days later, which is a lifetime considering i could randomly run into my soulmate with that time period. we just don't knowww! So if you want to make it easier on me then you’ll send a text. And you’ll make it the best text ever because otherwise I might kill the convo..and thats no fun now is it ? :)

Text Me Lova,

D.Tales