D.TALES

Thanksgiving. Sigh.

After being more stuffed than the holiday turkey itself, it’s time to come to terms with the fact that the holiday season has now begun....haha i know i talked about it earlier but its just boggling my mind here. Whether you celebrate Hannukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa or none of the above, it’s a given that you will be inundated with all kinds of holiday-ness over the next 6 weeks!!! hip hip HUZZAH <3>

Whether you love it or loathe it, every facet pertaining to the holidays comes with some pros and cons. Yes, even getting piles upon piles of gifts. Have you ever had to do the fake “OMG I LOVE IT?!” upon opening the most awful gift ever followed by months of excuses when grandma doesn’t see you wearing those giant, sparkly cross earrings she got you? It sucks.

So, this week I’m gonna break down the ten best/worst things about the holidays. Or in my perspective: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Season

10. Christmas music Jingle Bell Rock? its love-hate. i love holiday tunes...in fact i'm currently jammin' to Mariah's "All i want for Christmas is You." fab. but sometimes the classics grind themselves into your brain leading it to the point of almost combustion. Its something that i can only take in low doses. im workin' on it. and for those who just generally detest all holiday related melodies i suggest the anti-christmas. a little song to brighten your day : “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out” by FOB? hilarious.

9. Cookies And Candy. And Gingerbread houses. And fruit cake (ew!). So many calories – yuck. we all know that with the winter season comes natures way of telling you to keep warm...no not pee on yourself...but packin' on the LBs. for us ladies, no one wants to see your fumpa protruding over your dress pants or peaking out from gma's homemade christmas sweater. However, like my mom says, calories don’t count on Xmas (day that is)! Work it off before Spring Break and you’re in the clear.

...i say this knowing full well that i myself am a living breathing contradiction of what i just said... i say these things in hopes of maybe one day following my own advice haha. i eat like a bear preparing for hibernation...24 hours a day 7 days a week...for 12 months. dont judge. i do not work out...not voluntarily at least (Alex aka demon trainer is the only reason i go to 8am workouts --pure FEAR) haha so pathetic.

moving on.

8. Shopping Shopping can be a bid, especially if you hate mass crowds and legitimate physical brawls for a coveted designer pair of heels or a sweet little pea coat. i kid you not. these things happen. i myself enjoy it, its free entertainment and when it gets really bad i treat it like im a character in the novel, The Most Dangerous Game. except i totally don't hunt down the other shoppers to win the prize. but it is a form of survival of the fittest, if it takes a verbal castration of the person trying to claim my item, i will do it, and it will get ugly. i like the challenge hahah its that much more fulfilling after you swipe your card at the register smiling wide, while the lost soul you just tore apart stands in line behind you. its a harsh world. But if your not a total nut like me that enjoys those types of competitive extreme shopping type things, skirt the crowds and the lines and shop online dudes, this is the age of technology after all.

7. The Relatives - Embrace your family’s craziness instead of taking a shot every time your weird distant relative makes an inappropriate comment or asks you when “you’re ever going to get a boyfriend.” thanks for that aunt she who must not be named....

6. The High School Holiday Reunion If you don’t want to deal with the HS frenemies, then don’t. Highschool ends for a reason...To ditch all the people that gossiped about your high heels or tendency to kiss too many boys just for pure recreation. Trade those tedious “Oh my godddd how have you beeeeeen”s for a quiet night in with the fam or a few drinks with your best friends that actually care about you haha.

5. Traveling Pack only what you need, and CARRY-ON! Makes life a little less painless at the holidays...not like i travel or anything hahaha all my family pretty much lives in a 50 mile radius of my casa. i just hear its hectic. so glad i dont have to worry about that one!

4. Tacky Christmas Movies Put on some giant sweatpants, make some hot cocoa (if you like the whole "lets make purely innocent little kid drinks into a cocktail" splash in a hint of Bailey’s..haha Who wants Bailey's?!) and embrace it. Especially “Elf“! I like to have my hott cocoa in hand every time Will Ferrell sings :) ... "I'm hereee, with my daddd...and we never metttttt..but im here now...DADDY...... and guess what?! ...." hahahha

"I LOVE YOUUUUU!!!" . classic .

3. Presents Learn to love what you get, even if it’s an ill-fitting lumpy sweater. it could actually be warm. or if your like me, Think of the DIY possibilities! Sweater turned handbag? tres chic!

2. Tree Decorating Detangling lights = not fun. my poor mother has to do it every year and i swear to you the time it takes doesnt look all that enjoyable. Going through all the ornaments you’ve made through the years? Kinda fun. Making new ornaments with party pics of you and your besties? A total blast. do itttttt.

1. Eggnog Sorry, I have no answers here. This sh** sucks, sorry kids, profanity necessary. Unless it’s in the form of a milkshake from McDonalds. take it from me, a fast food junkie. its delectable.