I'm tired of being Good, Lets Just be Bad..A short intro to the Novella that Is my 21st Birthday Experience.

So its been a little over a week since my last post, and this girl has a plethora of scintillating new material to bore you with... So what better time to pile it on ya?

Lets begin.

In the time between my most recent blog vomit (I like to refer to my posts as such because its my cyber form of word vomit - an otherwise meaningless culmination of my pointless thoughts displayed publicly here in the blogosphere) and this one, I have been a very very busy lady. I've traveled, I've worked, I've worked out, I've eaten my feelings - comprised of delicious treats like ice cream and cake and carbs like you wouldn't believe, I've driven all over the place, I've slept, I've watched some television...I could go on...and essentially stop this post right now because I've told you everything I've done pretty much..but whats the fun in that?

And thus I shall elaborate.

A little over a week ago I returned back to Home Sweet 1700..a wonderfully filthy little place I just adore calling Home. Its quite quaint actually. Usually the first words out of my vistor's mouths are adjectives like oh how "sweet," or "spacious," ...how "clean."

In my perfect world at least.

No, you see I live in the projects. No embellishment. I really do. At school, off campus housing is nestled cozily amongst section 8 philadelphia housing. I have daily shootings, muggings, drug deals, abductions, you name it, occur all around me. Its like living along side Bone Thugs & Harmony every single day. Its simply divine. #NeighborHoodswag.

next topic.

So I returned home.
from what you ask?

continue reading.

One week ago I was returning from the trip in honor of my earthly existence. For seven days prior, I made the leap from small child to small child who happens to have turned 21!

It's a mind boggling concept, of this I am aware.

How could something so small hold such a moral responsibility in the world? Its difficult to uphold, Trust..and I've only dealt with it for 7 days.

tough life.

As you may have previously read ..{if not, I encourage you take an additional 15 minutes [est.] of your time (of which I hope isn't yours, but rather time that is supposed to be spent earning money..because then at least you could enjoy my witty compositions about nothing special and get paid..winning combo in my eyes) and rewind back a few posts to further understand my meaningless ramblings in this current one} ..I have been planning and excurging - not a word: my form of excursion in the present verb form..on a trip down south.

Like birds fly south in the winter, my sisters and I felt it necessary to migrate down to where the equator kisses the earth with its lovely and potentially dangerous UV-Rays and head on down to South Beach, Miami to not escape from the cold, but instead torture ourselves with an even more sweltering climate than we are dealing with currently up north.

makes total and complete sense.

Additionally, this migration also had a wee bit to do with my ever impending anniversary of birth also referred to as my 21st birthday extraordinaire. Can I get a Hell Yea?

Go on girl.

So we took a vay kay to Miami, over the time of course I obviously celebrated my birthday. We Wined, We Dined, We Clubbed (no baby seals were involved), and We Snugged...

.. Also not a word.
It's my form of the word Snuggle.
Nothing else rhymed.

Needless to say we had a grand time.

And now, since you simply won't let me get a word in otherwise, I shall give you the full Monty. The whole 9 yards. The play by play - if you will..of said 21st birthday/vacation/girl inspired Hangover re-enactment.

Our Trials, Our Tribz .. get ready, because its on its way, whether you like it or not.

(I encourage you drink a glass of water and find yourself a seat. just lookin out. )

MisMatch.com

Match.Com is probably the funniest most entertaining site to sign up for free on. What started as a joke to humor my sister who previously actually dabbled with Match, has turned into a instant virtual amusement park.

What happens when you sign up for these things is that you think you may actually get some real perks of the site without paying...but lets be serious, as the saying goes (if its too good to be true...it probably is). basically you get to have their "matchmakers" select who they think you would be compatible with, get post info on your own profile and get "winked" -similar to Facebooks "poke." You can neither communicate with these matches or view the emails of those actually interested in you, but you can in fact see their pictures...so naturally thats the only amenity i need to keep me surfing through their database out of pure amusement.

As a perpetually single girl I figured what the hell, I have nothing to lose, and I never even considered actually talking to people (not that I even could - unless I shelled out a heafty 60 bucks every 3 months ..uh hi..no thanks!) It was simply some reassertion that I in fact am not an Ogre that voids off the male sex...I just simply need to meet someone who can handle my spunky nature.

So to Match I joined, and with new projects I develop an overwhelming amount of enthusiasm, so naturally I went over the top and wrote a ridiculous bio that I guarantee almost anyone fails to finish. Its bible-esque in length and equally loaded with my glorious anecdotes and confusing use of the english language - I figured I'd try to portray myself in the best way possible not to lead to any confusion in the future if for some reason I landed myself a man...still hasnt happened...im simply oozing with astonishment..

anyway.

So I joined, wrote my long "i have a sense of humor and like to use metaphors" bio and saddled up to what I thought was just a simple harmless free membership...but see now what I didn't know is that theres a reason for men my age/age checkbox to turn to online dating - theyre actually serious, cant talk to women in person, want to find a girlfriend, or option D check all of the above.

The matches I've been matched to have been comparible to quazzy moto. I mean this in the least harsh way possible, but I swear some of these individuals simply cant be real. They're either 59 with salt and pepper hair looking to make me their little hott totty - no seriously - i got a facebook message from one asking if he could "spoil me"

..can't make this ish up if I tried.

Or they're 19-20, stick thin and look like they've been locked inside of Harry Potters cupboard under the stairs on Privet Drive for the past 19.5 years ( the other .5 years I estimate was the approximate transition time from womb to earth)

Im off track.

So basically, my experience with online Dating has failed miserably. Maybe its because I shouldn't be on the site in the first place, orrr the fact that I don't pay for an actual membership, but regardless, I have a damn good time sifting through my "winks" from strangers that If approached me in real life I would probably end up in a victims unit afterwards.

These descriptions are neither over exaggerated or meant to sound superior..not in the least bit..but simply I find that the match making process is skewed. I check my specifications - looks are never my number one priority - I am in fact a personality girl..but when it comes down to men 30 years my senior, or children that probably wouldn't even be able to lift me off the ground, it becomes a joke.

I'm not sure why or how I get the the curds of the creme but apparently its the Almighty's way of telling me that I belong with a skinny, pale, grandpa like man (I simply consolidated the qualities of the two given examples to find the medium).

Below I share with you my thoughtfully composed Bio - I share this with you in question of why I keep getting paired with such an array of individuals that I feel aren't my most compatible haha judge for yourself...maybe I'm subliminally suggesting that thats who i'm looking for in my description, but I tell you one thing - Thats certainly not what I intended :

..............................................................

Last year i electronically married myself off to my best friend on Facebook. Some people view it as pathetic, when i simply see it as a happily single girl not at all ashamed to announce her love for her best friend. Last week i received not only my first..but 10th message from the "man from the foreign land" type asking if she really was my wife.

This is where i realized things must be done.

Actions must be taken, moves must be made, whatever you want to call it. Last week i came to a revelation. Yes I am young. Yes I have time. But my question is this. Why not. If i am married on Facebook, of the 1000 "friends" i have, who truely sees me as available? Last week it hit me like a big dirty Septa bus. It's time i take matters into my own hands and put myself out there. So this is my trial run.

Hello Match, I'm Darcy.

I am the ripe age of 20 years old. Young enough to know this is probably entirely unnecessary, but old enough not to care. I am Single. I am in college. I am petite. I love to have fun...and you've also now learned that I love my best friend. I myself am fixated on the act of making my life sunny (even if Philadelphia primarily isn't) and a knee slapping good time; thus far, I've practically morphed it into a semi-respectable profession.

I am currently an Advertising Major, Art Direction track, with an additional Minor in Art. I am extremely creative and passionate about my education, art, beautiful music, popcorn, and most of all, my Friends and Family. I am random, I love to smile. I love my job. and I absolutely adore my cheer team, but despite finding love for countless things in my life, I have yet to find Love.

Despite my outwardly lesbian Facebook status, my declaration is this. I enjoy men. I like to meet new people. Although my bubbly personality has never altered my ability to do so in the past, I foresee Match as a further assistant to broadening the pool of people i cross tides with in life, and as an additional plus, maybe even setting me up with someone who may just make me Cyber Divorce my gal pal.

I see dating as a priority, but not necessarily my first. I juggle alot i my tiny life between school, family, and working, and at this point i'm pretty exhausted at taking dating advice from other people. Some people tell me that I’ll find my guy when I’m not looking. Others tell me I have to put myself out there. Essentially, my approach to dating is terribly confused. So i figured i'd jumble it up even more and join this site!

Although i have no real preferences, i do view myself as a romantic, and fairly old fashioned. Chivalry will always earn you brownie points, but having a sense of humor, confidence and passion for life would be a cherry to the sundae.

So saddle up white knights, because im yours for the taking, you've just gotta be willing to step up to the plate and make sure you hit it out of the park ;) **also - as a part of this trial, I fail to actually invest monetarily, so if you're at all interested cyber locate me on facebook or twitter. sexual predators not welcome.

..............................................................................................

see. kinda funny. approachable.

I even typed out a disclaimer as to clearly state that I don't want to be as we say.. "spoiled" ...I just don't see where I went wrong. Because of these failed matches I've found it in myself to simply take their compliments and laugh it off...for I know I will never be their mate, but I wish them all the happiness in the future.

Because after accepting the notion that my love does not reside online, I have moved on to becoming entertained by all their profiles and what their interested in. I swear its like a free anthropology lesson. So much to learn about people. Its fun. I suggest you try. unless of course you're serious, in which case I recommend you actually pay for a membership, because then you can find people you can actually date apparently. who knows. but I most likely won't be finding out anytime soon..too much fun reading up on my geriatric suitors.

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner- 21 :)

I'm not going to talk about the fact that this is my first real post in months..for we all know that if i were a real life functioning blogger I would'nt even be typing these words. So with no apology I will move on to more important topics to update you on.

Hi guys. I'm D. If you're reading this you're probably uber bored, stumbling upon me on twitter or simply clicking on random facebook links to fulfill your quota of sufficient stalking..or all three; who knows, who cares (insert Local Natives-Who Knows Who Cares). Anywho. If you don't already know me I'm the little raven-haired shawty running around north philadelphia like I own the place. I could go on about my background, interests and/or pass times but I feel it unnecessary and an insignificant use of both my and your time. always lookin out :)

Considering its been about a year since I've consistently posted I for some reason felt the need to re-introduce myself. Essentially D.Tales has been reborn. This is my first post since the remodel andd I'm quite tickled about it. When I first built this little cyber cluster of my meaningless thoughts, stories, and inspirations it was mostly to help me organize all the hooplahh swirling around in my 19 year old head of mine. Mother of pearl..19. I was a child. anyway. Freshman year was a whirlwind what can I say. But now I aim to cater to addressing the older more mature topics that occur in the realm at which linger. In simpler terms - I'm going to talk about the same ish, but now I'm half way through college. huzzah.


As im typing this it's now almost 2 full years later. I'm currently on the floor of my real life grown up apartment. The rent of which I pay for all myself. I'm also currently slightly intoxicated thanks to an impromptu journey to the almighty drunk tank known as Lucy's. I don't care who you are..Dollar drinks until 12 does anyone in so I don't want to hear it.

Ironically next week is my 21st birthday.

Words cannot exactly describe my excitement, anticipation and nerves. In the almightly U.S of A 21 is the proverbial crossroad to adulthood so with it comes much responsibility (apparently). I can't say I don't already know what its like to be 21..for I have already mastered the bar scene in both philadelphia and new york, butt its still the actual changing of tides from teenage/college life to growing up and becoming a real person. It's quite simply a right of passage.

As a little lady who has yet to even commence her junior year of collegiate studies, I'm considered an old maid for my year. Of all my friends, 4 roommates, 2 besties, 20+ teammates...I know tons of friends...I'm practically ancient for my age. Apparently Lisa (mon mere) thought it was cool to keep me at home for an extra year simply because I still took afternoon naps..In my eyes this is the bullshit cover excuse she uses to hide the fact that she loved me so much she didnt want to share me with 30 other kids at kindergarten.

Regardless.I'm old for my age. All my pals are either now just turning 20 or at least 6 months away from 21, yet still we have have managed to swindle our ways into bars for the past year so all of this ranting has no real substantial backing. I'm old but miraculously I look like im 5 so it all works out. cant complain - except for being picked up by high school boys at the beach..painful.

moving on.

Because of my premature 21-year-old-turning, it was difficult to decide how to celebrate. So many things to consider. To celebrate at home with my parents with a homemade cake and my favorite home cooked meal? To go to west chester and get harassed by the bouncers at Docs, Barnebys and Tecca who will all surely believe my id to be fake? orrrr hit the staples of Olde City that we've already been to a million times? the options were all so appealing....

So because of this, my lovely sisters and I got to thinking, actually not thinking more so scheming - we made a pact like 4 years ago to do this...to take a trip!

In exactly one week I will be high in atmosphere flying my way to the sexy and oh so scintillating South Beach, Miami :) The land of lotsah skin, great nightlife, amazing accommodations and white sandy beaches. Easily I'm the most excited individual for this. My sisters have hooked me up with round trip airfare and a suite at the FontainBleau and I don't think any of us could be more thankful. a trip with just the three of us has never been more necessary. If only my little sis could tag along (Shout out to Colby! :) I love you! - ps we're going to the tropics for your 21st)

Anyone whos gone on vacation knows the feeling of wanting to look good for it, so naturally my work out regimen has been altered a bit for the past couple of months. I can't tell you how much it boggles my mind but seriously - tweaking your diet to healthier foods and hitting the gym a little more makes the world of difference. After the new year everyone makes the resolution to get in shape but because of this trip I wanted to make it happen. Cheerleading has always kept me fit but getting that toned look took a bit more so i decided to branch out and try some new methods.

A couple of months ago I got into Bikram Yoga- its a yoga practiced in a space heated to approx 11o degrees. In the winter time its amazing, 90 mintues of 25+ poses that cleanses both your mind and body and when you walk outside its the most refreshing feeling. It tones, trims and does everything you want it to without leaving you sore. As it got hotter and I learned to become frugal with my money (Bikram runs 80 bucks a month downtown) I switched to pilates (pop pilates on Youtube is great! 10min workouts) and yoga on campus followed by an hour to 1.5 hours in the gym at least 2 times a week. This paired with healthier snacks has done works on my bod :) Miami here I comeeee




Working out has never been a favored pastime of mine but ya gotta do whats necessary to get yourself looking your bestt :) I highly encourage making even the smallest changes in and out of the gym whether it be walking or swapping the oreos for an apple, it makes the world of difference! and makes you feel absolutely great:)

Additionally I've also been making changes with work! Last year I spent a year working with Red Bull and now I've switched to work for a new performance Beverage known as DrinkNeuro! Its fabulous :) Packaged in a rainbow of adorable and 100% recyclable material made hourglass bottles, these little drinks provide all the boost of necessary functions you could ask for from an all natural drink company and all in under 35 calories. If you don't run into me around Philly hooking the area up with this lovely stuff I suggest you scope us out @DrinkNeuro :) Trim and Bliss are my favs


So between working out, shopping my bum off - literally I think the cashiers at all the shops in center city know me by name, and working I've been a busy girl, but its all for a better, fit and grown up (maybe not physically..but mentally) little me ;)

#Motivated #Happy and #Healthy

South Beach most likely isn't ready for me or the rest of the Stackhouse sisters - Watch out Kardashians - but they're getting a heaping spoonful of fun come july 7th whether they like it or not ;) If you haven't already I suggest you follow me on twitter @DarcyJoelle for amusing, sometimes intoxicated tweets. I'll surely be blasting the twitter world when i'm down south so make sure to check for updates <3


until then my sweets,

xoxo
D.

Face Lift

So my blog officially blows. There is no denying it. Instead of abandoning it once and for all I've decided that this little project of mine is to go under serious construction. Just like my blog will soon show, I have myself have undergone many changes over these past 2 years. I aim to make this site of mine an ambitious, creatively driven interpretation of myself, my dreams, and all and anything that interests me. I highly encourage you stay tuned for future updates and remodel. D.Tales will soon be Dripping in a new sassy layout, scintillating new material and hopefully some new followers!

until then!

D.

No Regrets Just Loff

Okay okay. I know. how longs it been this time? my calculations are yielding a little over two weeks. poo poo kahchu. soo i cant stay faithful to my blog. don't shoot me.

if you did, itd be murder.

Moving on, with all that has been goin on in my little hott mess of a life, lets just say ive been busy. Since my last update i've managed to remain alive and breathing into the spring months that should have been filled with sunshine in butterflies. Instead sir atmosphere decided to hit us hard with countless arctic chills, goosebumps, snow showers and even some freezing rain. Super cool. sike. Philadelphia never felt so drab. But lets not dwell on the absolute hell I've endured shall we? its not interesting and i find it annoying just typing out whiny sad girl things. That being said, with the cold bitter bitch weather came cuddle sessions, hott chocolate chunky sweaters and heaping bowls of buttery popcorn. my guilty pleasure of course. Not so bad!

March is now coming to an end and I can't say I'm going to miss it. Although its been eventful, im more than exuberant to roll into april, fully hoping it will shower me with love, good grades, alcohol and memorable encounters with my partners in crime. School has never been more of an S.O.B, but with the hours i've logged at Club tech, Its difficult to deny that i'm obtaining and storing a lifetime of knowledge upstairs in the noggin of mine. (Snaps for bein a Nerdosauras were never more appropriate!) boomshakahlaka.

Aside from my astounding performance as an intellectual enrolled in higher education, Ive finally made the leap and joined Twitter! Let me just tell you what a ball im having. Think kid in a candy store, with AdHd and finding the Golden Ticket. all at the same time. Not only overwhelming and intense, but totally stinkin awesome. As someone who early adapted to Formspring (not one of my finest moments) #epicfail, I was apprehensive to become a tweeb but it got to the point where i would follow sweet punky little Avril and say What the Hell?

Not only is it fascinating to instantly share my meaningless thoughts with millions of people, but Im finding that I actually have an affinity for Twitter. Ive only been on it for 3 days and have tweeted over 60 times, fully comprehending hashtagging, trending and following about 40 people i don't even know just to learn about what they think about topics i'm interested in. Its brilliant. Thanks to my Bestie L, her encouragement pushed me to the edge and got me addicted.

Addiction is usually a bad thing but im thinking twittah can be used as an outlet for my nonstop thought processes i have buzzin around in mah brain. The only bad thing is now that I have one, im going to need rehab to stop and like all other things online, captures my attention above all of my other obligations aka my education.

whoops.

Aka Its yet another distraction from everything else i have going on in my life. great decision....haha. #SorryimNotsorry. Additionally to my exciting new twitter identity, i've also gone thrifting in the city, gone to classes amidst the wintery snow globe of a forecast, cheered my last basketball game of the seassonnn, and journeyed up to the almighty State for their university wide holiday known as State Patties Day. whew! i know. lots to take in. and tons to deal with. but that being said, its been a hell of a curve ball of fun! with so much accomplished i'm gettin' my grove back ... chyea like the emperor, and hopefully beating my ongoing power struggle known as : D against The Blog. to post or not to post?!


I declared my self full force to the improvement of all that is D. so i think its time to commit furr realll this time. strap yourselves in my sweets, i've gotta whole bunch of new ish to share!


xxx (and some o's if yah luckayy)
D.Talesss

PS - dont forget to Follow me on Twitter!
@DarcyJoelle - #TweetMeBitch